8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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