How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
