this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
porn star boner night. come get it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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