My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
