Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
