Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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