His pubic hair was longer than his dick
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
