Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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