belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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