I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
