I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
