literally had 100 drinks last night.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
