I think scott just propositioned me for sex
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
