dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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