At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
