im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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