You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
