I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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