It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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