those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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