I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
