The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
