sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The air was thick with penises
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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