my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
