They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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