He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
