We won't sleep together?
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
