I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She told me I should be a condom model.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
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