don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
