Pappa wants mamma naked
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
