Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
