Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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