Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
