The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
