what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
my being single is dangerous.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
