Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
