I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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