I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
