I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
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