you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
