I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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