Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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