Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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