Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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