My friends, they love my intelligence
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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