Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
kristin has been a bad kristin
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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