We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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