Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
