Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
