somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
not ubering you a puppy
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
