I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
